When we begin law school, we know that we are in for a challenge. What most of us do not realize is just how challenging it is to maintain the relationships and friendships we have in our lives while also attending law school.
When the stress of reading, note taking, outlining and taking exams take over it is easy to slowly start paying less and less attention to everything else in our lives. By everything else, I sadly mean our family, friends and significant others. I had to learn how to maintain my long-distance relationships with my friends, family, and boyfriend while also managing the stress of a full law school course load. Here are a few tips I learned to help me from becoming too overwhelmed.
As for family, I try to reach out to at least one family member per day. Whether it be a simple text saying “hi!”, or an hour-long phone call catching up if I have more time that day. For example, my grandmother and I talk every Sunday for at least 20 minutes. This is something that is very important to both her and I. Although I try to reach out to at least one family member per day, I also acknowledge that it is not always possible with my schedule. I let my family know at the start of law school (and I remind them quite often) that law school is very emotionally draining and requires a lot of my time, so if they do not hear from me for a little while, it is not because I do not love or care for them. It is simply because I am busy! Your family WILL understand this!
As for friends, I have lost many friends that I thought I would have forever due to us growing apart. As I have gotten older, I realized that people just grow apart when they are at different stages of life. Some of my lifelong friends are married and having children, still single and in a party phase, or like me pursuing a higher education. When people are at different stages of life, it is another added strain on keeping a friendship going. This was a very hard realization for me at first, but I found it easier to accept this than to pour liquid into a bottomless cup. As for the friends I have remained close with while still in law school, I try to make sure that I check in with them at least twice a month. Even if it is just a funny video on Instagram or Tiktok, I just like them to know I am thinking of them.
As for relationships you are in, although my boyfriend is not a law school student, he understands how stressful law school is for me. He does little things to make law school less stressful for me, like making the 1.5 hour trip to visit me so I do not have to drive home to see him. He knew that the three hours spent driving to and from him could be spent reading or taking notes, and that if I had that extra time, I would be a little less stressed. Another thing I found sometimes challenging about my relationship was not taking my law school stress out on my boyfriend. After a long, stressful day of school and feeling like everything went wrong, all I wanted to do was take it out on the person I am closest to and unfortunately for my boyfriend – that is him. However, I learned that I need to find better ways to manage my stress than taking it out on my loved ones.
If you take anything from this post, I hope it is that maintaining our long-distance relationship and friendships with loved ones may be challenging at times but at the end of the day will always be worth it. Law school is stressful, but we need all the love and support we can get.
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