One of the biggest learning curves that I had to learn is how to lean into the never-ending to-do list. Even before classes began I a piece of paper with a list of tasks to do paired with their coordinating due dates. I am personally one who loves these lists. I would create them in my everyday life, prior to law school. These lists would be compiled of everything that I had to complete, big and small for the day. Miniscule objective like brushing my teeth, picking out my outfit for the next day, packing my gym bag, and making dinner would find its way onto my lists in order for me to gain satisfaction when I crossed it off. However, once I got to law school, I quickly realized that I was going to need a whole new notebook just to write down everything that I had to do. This quickly got overwhelming because I could generally plan out every second of the next 14 weeks of my life with hundreds of pages of reading, formative assessments, and writing assignments. Then I realistically could understand that more little tasks would pop up throughout the week as they inevitably do throughout the semester. I could feel myself being put into a box much like those next to each task. I could see myself going insane, but at least everyone around me was going insane as well. I continuously tried to get everything on the to-do list done, but each passing second seemed to cumulate three more things that had to be done. There was no winning, there was no end. I had no other option than to realize that it never will. There will always be an email to send, an assignment to read, extra studies to complete, opportunities to pursue, and outlines to make. That is okay. There are only so many hours in the day, and only so much work that one can sustainably do. This sustainability level is different for everybody. Some people need less sleep, food, breaks, alone time, or study time than others. It is no use to compare yourself to those who can do the less. They will always exist, and you will run yourself ragged trying to match them. It always ends up with you sick, tired, hungry, behind, and mentally exhausted.
Once I came to peace with this bit of information I began to think. I realized that this today list will always be there. This made me shift my perspective to start valuing my time in terms of productivity. The way I measure such productivity is in terms of my own sustainability and success. You may be asking yourself by what I mean by all this. Basically, I stopped worrying about how many things were on my to-do list and started worrying about me. There are certain things that over the past twenty-odd years of my life that were concrete. I have to have two solid meals a day, and maybe I’ll throw a snack in there if that’s not enough, I need 9 hours of sleep, I need to watch at least two movies a week, if I don’t have hot water in my shower I will be crabby, I probably won’t do anything of exceptional work after 7:00 pm, and McDonald’s fountain cokes makes any day better. Without these absolutes I am not a joy to be around, and I am straight up not having a good time. So, I started to live my life by these absolutes. These were the top things on my to-do list every day, the things that were non-negotiable. I then would incorporate the top five or six things that had to be done for the next class. I began to live a more present life. I wasn’t worried about three-months from now. I was concerned with having everything I needed for the day done and setting myself up for success the next day. If someone asked me to hangout after class, or go to their home town for the weekend, I would make sure I would get enough work done to be able to go and be present. However, I would weigh my productivity each time. I would compare how much work I would get done during a certain amount of time and the quality of that work with the reset value I would get from hanging out with my friends, going home, or watching a movie.
Now this won’t always be rainbows and butterflies. There will be times where I would have to stay up a little later, wake up a little earlier, cancel on plans to do work, or be unable to do the work that I had plans of completing. However, I will only be young once, have the opportunity and availability to do certain things now, and hanging out with my friends will be less frequent. So, I should enjoy it as much as I can. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it should be all play and no work. We are in law school for a reason, and that is to learn and there is work required for that. But there has to be a balance. My peers now will turn into my colleagues in a rather short amount of time. The relationships we forge will expand into out livelihood. I want to invest in that now. I want to invest in those people and myself. I will gladly find room on my to-do list to do that because although grades are important, I think the people you surround yourself with will lift you up just as much as you do them. This can be muddled with the chaos and stress of your school year, but it all gets done, even if your to-do list doesn’t
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