When we begin law school, we know that we are in for a challenge. What most of us do not realize is just how challenging it is to maintain the relationships and friendships we have in our lives while also attending law school.

When the stress of reading, note taking, outlining and taking exams take over it is easy to slowly start paying less and less attention to everything else in our lives. By everything else, I sadly mean our family, friends and significant others. I had to learn how to maintain my long-distance relationships with my friends, family, and boyfriend while also managing the stress of a full law school course load. Here are a few tips I learned to help me from becoming too overwhelmed.   

As for family, I try to reach out to at least one family member per day. Whether it be a simple text saying “hi!”, or an hour-long phone call catching up if I have more time that day. For example, my grandmother and I talk every Sunday for at least 20 minutes. This is something that is very important to both her and I. Although I try to reach out to at least one family member per day, I also acknowledge that it is not always possible with my schedule. I let my family know at the start of law school (and I remind them quite often) that law school is very emotionally draining and requires a lot of my time, so if they do not hear from me for a little while, it is not because I do not love or care for them. It is simply because I am busy! Your family WILL understand this!  

As for friends, I have lost many friends that I thought I would have forever due to us growing apart. As I have gotten older, I realized that people just grow apart when they are at different stages of life. Some of my lifelong friends are married and having children, still single and in a party phase, or like me pursuing a higher education. When people are at different stages of life, it is another added strain on keeping a friendship going. This was a very hard realization for me at first, but I found it easier to accept this than to pour liquid into a bottomless cup. As for the friends I have remained close with while still in law school, I try to make sure that I check in with them at least twice a month. Even if it is just a funny video on Instagram or Tiktok, I just like them to know I am thinking of them.

As for relationships you are in, although my boyfriend is not a law school student, he understands how stressful law school is for me. He does little things to make law school less stressful for me, like making the 1.5 hour trip to visit me so I do not have to drive home to see him. He knew that the three hours spent driving to and from him could be spent reading or taking notes, and that if I had that extra time, I would be a little less stressed. Another thing I found sometimes challenging about my relationship was not taking my law school stress out on my boyfriend. After a long, stressful day of school and feeling like everything went wrong, all I wanted to do was take it out on the person I am closest to and unfortunately for my boyfriend – that is him. However, I learned that I need to find better ways to manage my stress than taking it out on my loved ones.

If you take anything from this post, I hope it is that maintaining our long-distance relationship and friendships with loved ones may be challenging at times but at the end of the day will always be worth it. Law school is stressful, but we need all the love and support we can get.

After making it through the stressful first semester of law school, many students find it is time to start looking for summer externships. I was one of those students, and I was contemplating whether or not I wanted to do a summer externship, take a class, have a regular job where I could earn money, or if I wanted to take the summer off. These can all be great options, depending on what you want or need out of your summer. A summer externship is a great decision if you want experience or if there is a particular area of law that you are interested in or are unsure of and want experience in. It is also beneficial to make connections for after law school. Another option is to take a class. Our law school offers a few summer courses, usually consisting of Professional Responsibility, which is a beneficial course because it is how lawyers conduct themselves in practice. Additionally, after taking Professional Responsibility you will be in a good place to take the MPRE (Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam) at the end of summer. The list of classes changes every year but there is always a good list of courses offered and taking a class could be a good option if you want to still have a good summer, but also don’t want to let yourself be unproductive. Another option is working at a non-law related job just to save up money for the summer. Law school and student loans are expensive so this could be something that some people have or want to do. Lastly, this is the summer after 1L year. If you want to take the summer off, that is also a completely reasonable option. Most people end up getting externships during spring of their 2L year or 2L summer, so there is nothing wrong with taking your first summer off to reset your mind after a long and stressful first year of law school. Besides, being a lawyer is stressful and we will spend the rest of our lives working. 

So, what did I end up doing? Although I made it sound like it is an easy decision, I ended up going back and forth for months about what I wanted to do during summer. I weighed the pros and cons of each decision and realized that although I could go back to my serving job for summer, that doing an externship in the law related field would be more beneficial in the long run for me. As of spring of 1L year, I was torn between family law and criminal law, so I applied to a few different externships and ended up getting an externship at the Cumberland County District Attorney’s Office. It was a great experience and I learned so much from all of the attorneys there. My externship taught me a lot, but it also made me realize that a career in criminal law was not for me. At that point I realized that I was extremely grateful that I did an externship because I always thought I wanted to work at a District Attorney’s Office, just to find out that it was not for me. Externships are learning experiences, it is our time to learn, ask questions, make mistakes, shadow exceptional attorneys, etc. While I did my externship, I also took Professional Responsibility because it is a requirement that it be taken prior to or with any externship taken at Commonwealth Law School. So as a 1L, if you are taking an externship during your 1L summer, you will have to take Professional Responsibility and the Externship course along with the externship. Although it can be a busy and sometimes overwhelming summer, it really is worth it. All of the classes in law school are important, but the rules we learned in Professional Responsibility are really important to understand for when we become practicing lawyers. It was also nice to be able to focus on just one class during summer and not have to focus on four or five other classes as well. If I remember one course from law school, I hope its Professional Responsibility. After taking Professional Responsibility, I also took the MPRE (Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam) at the end of summer, because it is basically a refresh of the Professional Responsibility rules, and it is a requirement for the bar. It was nice to cross all of those things off the to do list during summer and to not have to worry about them during 2L year, when courses start to get more challenging. However, the MPRE is offered multiple times a year, so it does not have to be taken at the end of summer. It can be taken in November, or even the following summer. Each decision needs to be made based on each individual person’s preference. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it is what is best for YOU. It does not matter what our classmates are doing or what I decided to do, it is what is best for each individual person. Everyone is different, we all have different learning paths and there is nothing wrong with that. Make the decision that is best for you at the end of the day, and you will succeed. No choice is a bad choice, and as the time to start stressing for summer plans starts to come up, don’t forget, we all have been there, we all are still there, and we all will figure it out. Myself included!